Tuesday, April 23, 2013

Well, we can't let Mari be the only one posting!

Here is a little unedited snippet from a short story I started over the weekend, inspired by a family vacation at a fancy hotel:


After breakfast Varina went for a hike and Daniel went for another soak. They passed a pleasant and peaceful three days and Varina even got Daniel to come on a walk in the woods with her, though it wasn't a hike and the trail was all boardwalk.
"In the snow, this place would look like Narnia," Daniel commented. "Look at this lamp post! It's growing hair!" Sure enough, the post had a mossy 'do drooping down damply.
That night Daniel got the manager of the hotel to open one of the grand pianos and Daniel gave an impromptu concert in the lobby.
Altogether it was a very good day. Daniel and Varina slept well. At least until the shrieks woke them.


I'm trying to decide whether I want that last sentence to say 'shrieks' or 'screams.' Which sounds better to you?

Live long and prosper!

2 comments:

  1. Pretty good. And it depends on what you mean in it...if it's like a ghost shrieks would be perfect....if it's like people running for their bloody lives then.....screams is probably better... :-P

    May your pen be as your swift blade and the paper as your shield and defense!

    --Kimzy

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  2. Hee hee thanks. It's more of the oh-my-word-I-just-found-a-dead-body type shriek/scream.

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