In the fort Jeniah saw Captain MacNell carrying
a wrapped form in his arms, running towards the cabin. Jeniah kicked the stool
from under Jat who sat, lazing back. He fell to the ground and glared up at
Jeniah who nodded towards Willai’s hurrying figure. Jat hastened to stand up
and helped lay the wrapped form on the bed. Willai breathed heavily as he
stared into Jeniah’s eyes in concern.
“Where’s Morwynne?” Jeniah heard the hint of dread in her own voice when she spoke.
Willai seemed to hear the edge in her voice too so he looked down at Jeniah, “She’s--”
A loud clatter from behind the two of them alerted them of another, as Willai turned to face Morwynne picking up the mop and bucket that she tripped over, “She’s here.”
Morwynne lay the mop gently on the wall as it slid off and clattered to the floor again. She left it there and went to help Jeniah with the new patient. Jeniah unwrapped the cloak to reveal the sliced body which oozed blood and shadows. Morwynne stooped to touch it when the sound of a clearing throat, alerted her of Willai’s rising temper.
"If you would, Morwynne Aari Gael, follow me to my quarters,” Willai’s cool tone aired a sign of caution for Morwynne who bit her lower lip and looked, pleadingly at Jat and Jeniah as Willai stepped out the door. Jeniah shook her head, solemnly as Jat grinned widely and shrugged. Morwynne’s head lowered in shame as she turned and followed the Captain, as if marching to the death.
I hope you enjoyed it! Tell me who your favorite character from this snippet is or if none, tell me your favorite quote in it!
Preferring to look insane,
Mari J. Fahel
“Where’s Morwynne?” Jeniah heard the hint of dread in her own voice when she spoke.
Willai seemed to hear the edge in her voice too so he looked down at Jeniah, “She’s--”
A loud clatter from behind the two of them alerted them of another, as Willai turned to face Morwynne picking up the mop and bucket that she tripped over, “She’s here.”
Morwynne lay the mop gently on the wall as it slid off and clattered to the floor again. She left it there and went to help Jeniah with the new patient. Jeniah unwrapped the cloak to reveal the sliced body which oozed blood and shadows. Morwynne stooped to touch it when the sound of a clearing throat, alerted her of Willai’s rising temper.
"If you would, Morwynne Aari Gael, follow me to my quarters,” Willai’s cool tone aired a sign of caution for Morwynne who bit her lower lip and looked, pleadingly at Jat and Jeniah as Willai stepped out the door. Jeniah shook her head, solemnly as Jat grinned widely and shrugged. Morwynne’s head lowered in shame as she turned and followed the Captain, as if marching to the death.
I hope you enjoyed it! Tell me who your favorite character from this snippet is or if none, tell me your favorite quote in it!
Preferring to look insane,
Mari J. Fahel
Oooo very interesting. How does a wound ooze shadows? However it happens, it sounds EPIC!
ReplyDeleteMy favorite bit was the mop part. "Morwynne lay the mop gently on the wall as it slid off and clattered to the floor again."
Well, in this story the "shadows" were demons entering the body of the injured girl.... they were in her mind and heart, which made her nearly dead, even when she was physically on the road to recovery....
DeleteYeah, that was pretty sweet! Funny how a klutz can make the most urgent of matters humorous just with a slight mishap in her steps.... **chuckles softly**
Preferring to look insane,
Yours truly the Swashbuckler Disciple,
Mari J. Fahel
Your writing really impresses me. You've a very engaging way to do it. Draws the reader right in.
ReplyDeleteReally? So, have I improved since I was 15? You were there, and I'm sure you read some of my stuff then...
DeleteRemember "For the Author!"? And how it was changed to "The Forgiver's Promise"? I remember writing a scene where Fox actually tried to steal from a trio of witches and their daughters.... Wow.... Zronim and him were put through torture after that! The trio handed them to their daughters and the three girls were very cruel to them.... Whoa.... I was very morbid in the scene, haha! So, let's not get detailed about it! :-P
I have really worked to write well-done stories and poems. I tried to get better with barely any classes in proper punctuation, grammar, and creativity. **chuckles** I probably NEED to get into some writing lessons! haha!
Yours truly the Swashbuckler Disciple,
Mari J. Fahel